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I got the surgery in the end of May. A few weeks after the surgery I just really needed to get away, so me and my family went to Turkey. It was so nice, laying on the beach, do some excercises, just taking it easy not worrying about my knee so much. 

The reality hit me hard when I got back home. I had signed the contract with KIF earlier in the year and it was time to move. I had been preparing mentally for moving for so long. But not with an injury. I lived in Örebro by myself at first. The mental part was hard, the only people I knew was my teammates and not even them I knew so good that I could hang out with them often. I just stayed in my room all day. It was summer, sunny and warm outside but I had no one to go outside with. 

I went to the gym, alot. That didn't make it better for the social part, because I didn't do much at the actual trainings. I just sat and watched the others train. It was like being slapped in the face several times in a row almost every day. The thing that kind of brought me down was that this time, every step took so long time. I was not before in the schedule of getting better. And I had setbacks. It didn't go as smoothly like the first time with the right knee. It was frustrating. Sometimes I could sit at home and cry, just sit there and cry, or before I was going to sleep. 

 

I slowly made progress, and eveyry progress I made I celebrated. So happy, but only I few hours. I was always thinking ahead of myself and I was thinking. Next time I have to be able to do this and that. I think that can be usefull, but in this case it became an obstacle. I was not focused on the present. I was already thinking about playing soccer after 6 months. Because that's what happened with my right knee, and I think I expected the same this time.

To be continued